There are so many people I hate at the moment. No, it's none of my friends. I feel bad for hurting them. I feel like I'm running them through the ringer and they don't deserve it. They deserve better than me.
Today I am in a totally different mood than I was 2 days ago. I haven't cycled this fast in years. Being aware of my mood doesn't change it any. It feels easier to control.
I hate myself for having friends. I hate myself for sitting here when I desperately want to be out partying, dancing, singing. I hate that I'm such a loser. I hate that I want to LEAVE THIS FUCKING HOUSE! I want to meet people and laugh and have a good damn time.
But I can't. I've no one to go anywhere with. So, big me, the one with the gumption, the one with the get up and go, is drowning in self-pity for the millionth time. However it isn't because I'm depressed. It's because I'm stuck here. I'm suffocating. I want to have fun. Do the things that are important to me.
Who am I kidding? I'm going to rot.
Here lies Bunny
We hardly knew ye