Bunnyrabbit's diary: +broken jpegs edition+

Do you want to know the reason why I'm dreading the meeting with April, the academic advisor on the 18th? Because it's in Gardiner Hall, which is where the Poli Sci department is. See, the thing is... I know what the building looks like and I know sorta where it is, so I don't think I'll have too much trouble finding it. But I'm afraid that I will and that I'll actually have to (GASP!!) ask someone for directions. How silly is that?

It's like, I wish I could turn invisible until I get inside the building.

Some people spend their whole lives wanting to be noticed by someone - anyone! And I spend mine desperately hoping to melt into the walls.

I don't want to go onto campus from Eastern Parkway I want to go from Floyd Street just because it's not as visible.

WHY do I hate myself this much? What did I do to myself to harbour this much distaste?

Sigh.

Actually, I'm not feeling as bad about it as I was yesterday. Maybe not that many people will be milling about. ::crosses fingers::

I'd kill to be attractive. (please, no pity) I'm so insecure. I think that if my body were perfect then *I'd* be perfect. I really, honestly, with 100% sincerity believe that. If I were thin then my life would be fabulous.

For some reason I imagine college to be full of beautiful and judgemental people.

I don't know. I feel like a loser. An insecure loser. Oh well though.

I wish I had someone to do this with.

I was in bed last night (before the bleeding ear death nightmare) thinking about my future and how I see myself reading my school books on the bus coming home and how I see myself sitting in the SAC, drinking diet soda, waiting for class to start. I see myself curled in the arms of a woman that I love dearly. I made a list of things I want her to be:

law student

libertarian

vegetarian

Simple, huh? Ha! Yeah. So, good luck with that, right? But I do want to date a lawyer. Court is sexy. Libertarians are sexy. And we all know vegetarians are sexy.

Too bad I'm not sexy.

I don't want to be desperate though. I don't want to get in over my head with classes and work - I have a tendancy to take on more than I care to handle. But, fail? I'd rather drink ink than prove my family right.

I'm tired. I'm going to bed.